“Every great man has a woman behind him.” – Proverb

Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs

Being single is expensive. Drinks, a movie, road trip, museum, live show, dinner with friends – they all have a definite monetary cost. Relationships, done improperly, are often devastatingly expensive, too. The common wisdom is that it’s necessary to work hard and smart to finance an attractive lifestyle which would allow a guy (or a girl) to get out more, meet more people and with a bit of luck and persistence find someone they are compatible with. And just maybe this common wisdom is entirely wrong – what if having a fulfilling dating life could actually make you richer? Girl first, lifestyle second, wealth third and the easiest if you start buying NFT and trading them later.

Few would disagree that successful people attract other successful people. As such most well balanced, socially adept individuals are at a financial advantage over their peers. Not without exceptions, but successful guys are rarely at a loss for dates. There is enough evidence to suggest that as people progress from no relationship (due to circumstances or own social intelligence shortcomings) to a more satisfying dating or relationship situation their incomes increase, and lifestyle improves dramatically.

Clearly there is some correlation. And from my experience (personal and observational) the causation is counter intuitive.

Let’s face it – dating requires a lot of energy. Both in physical sense, to leave the house, socialize, do “cool stuff.” It also requires a lot of mental energy – does he/she like me, what do I wear, did I forget to take out the trash, is that just a friend or friend with benefits? A lot of emotional energy is spent on this.

Obsessive people aren’t just crazy – they are crazy efficient, because no emotional energy is spent. This is why concentrating on a task is more productive – no energy is wasted on considering emotional ramifications or possibilities.

It is easy to see from the classic hierarchy of needs that sex, just like food, sleep and breathing is a prerequisite to just about anything else – from relationships to self actualization. It is important to note something often missed: there is a clear distinction between sex and sexual intimacy. The later requires an underlying relationship of some sort. Unfortunately, so long as more basic needs aren’t met it is only at great expense (energy and/or financial) that one can reach the higher realms of healthy relationships, self esteem and self actualization – which in turn leads one to financial wealth.

And so we arrive at a rather uncomfortable conclusion – one that is hissed and hushed at because it contradicts the established societal convention. The convention that one must have high self-esteem, be relaxed, creative, spontaneous, have confidence, sense of achievement, maintain healthy platonic relationships, have lots of things to provide basic comforts for safety and health, and then success at dating (sex, intimate relationships) is just a natural byproduct. This is grand – just backwards.

Well, this does make sense – after all, all that energy spent on dating, meeting people, maintaining a presentable appearance, attractive lifestyle, etc. can now be channeled in a more productive direction – like solidifying friendships and creating things of value to others which leads to self actualization and wealth. But of course as a guy you knew this all along. The easiest way to get respect, sense of achievement and core confidence is to get laid. A lot. The more the better.

As it turns out, it’s a lot easier and quicker to go about it in the right direction. In the end success in anything requires the same elementary qualities, whether it’s career or dating or anything else. And along the way you just might find yourself discovering that the greatest impact on your income has nothing to do with which university you went to.

As authors of Freaconomics demonstrated, the greatest determinant of income of MBA graduates was their height. And in the long run, your wealth and income might end up depending more on who is your significant other more than anything else.